Final countdown

Took the blood test.

Felt very low. Spoke to the nurse about the brown spotting. She said not to worry as there are cases of more red blood since mine is only brownish n not a lot.

Was fighting tears when she drawn out the blood 

Yesterday, finally went to toilet at 1am after holding on to urinate since 8+pm.

Was expecting blood, but nope. The spotting remains as light brown and little.

But as wiped down there, there's tiny trace of redness.

Went to bed crying. As i hope the morning when i woke up, it wont be full flow with cramps.

As morning came, husband was sweet knowing im feeling dejected, offered to bathe together so he cab take a look at d stain.

Took a deep breathe abd pulled duwn the undies.

The stain remained as last night. Slight brownish. My hooe were lifted a bit. But as i wiped down, traces of red abd then. One tiny red clump came out. Small dot.



Crossing fingers that the result will be a BFP.

Nurse said if bleeding could be d progesterone not strong so need to give immemediate support.

Help me.

Only one more day

Before cinema, went to the toilet and saw a tiny bits of brownish stain.

Could be d debris from Crinone gel. After movie, after shower as i wiped down - more brownish stain.

:'(

Felt awful in the toilet.

Inserted Crinone gel n saw traces of brownish stain.

Which means, inside somewhere is bleeding?

So sad.

What will the outcome of tomorrow be?

Am scared to go urinate.
Scared to find if the pad will have red stain on it.

Red would definitely means menses.

Told Mat and he's not that optimistic too on the outcome.

Why?
Why?
Why?

All has been good this far and suddenly this appears? As much as its assuring that im healthy with menses every month, i really wishes for it not to come this month.

I went through a LOT.

Its not just the 3x of IVF, everything. Coz of IVF, i got severe OHSS which made me bloated n my stomach looks preggy when its not. My hair is thinning due to the surgery(s). There are now railway tracks on the hairline.

Am ashamed to go back office again with no news. Felt that i let my bosses down. How can i ask to go for another IVF since all 3 failed? The agony that another colleague has to cover my scope makes me shamed.

I really hope this brown stain is an implantation bleeding. But its day 15, how can it be implantation bleeding when implantation occurs Day 5/6?

Im scared for tomorrow 

Hope the HCG reading is high and all this is just a dream.

Countdown to final result

Pee-d on the stick this morning. Just had a thought to just do it since i bought the stick already. The stick and its generations seems not to like me. Everytime its always show a single line.

Haiz.

Whats new?

I dont actually feel sad. As i dont really have any feeling when i peed on it. I was in urgency to urinate so was a relief to end it all.

Told Mat the result, he said not to care about the result as this Thursday result would be more comprehensive and better result. Which i think is true also la.

I REALLY hope they can detect a high HCG level to determine that this 3rd ivf is a success. Otherwise, i'll feel dejected having to answer to those surrounding me on the failure again. Taking a 3rd week of hospitalization leave and having my work being covered by someone and at the end of it, i got no happy news to share on the outcome - just dont feel good.

At least if its a BFP result, those 3weeks of me missing from office will justify sweetly.

One more day to countdown. Tomorrow, lucky Mat will be having his IPPT and will be hope halfday so can spent the day with me. before we go down on Thursday morning for the final countdown.

Uber nervous ^.^

Day 15? Counting down to 14th June

Is it Day 15 or 14? Since my last post of Day 12 is on 8th June. Embryo transferred was on 30th May (Day 2).

This week is my final week to bed rest. The end of 3 weeks hospitalization leave, hopefully. Am dreading the outcome of my Outlook email quantity once im back at work.

For now, im still refusing to take a peek at those work related emails. I need to calm and do happy non-stress related things. So, thats a No-No.

I will be going down to Raffles Hospital for the final test, pregnancy or HCG test? Read up and its a BFP if the HCG level are high and possibilities of multiple pregnancy if its way up over 2000k readings.

Am scared and nervous.

So far, it has been good. No spotting. No trace of brown stains found when Crinone gel was inserted inside. Last two IVF rounds, before the 2ww are up - i found traces of dark brown stains on the crinone gel stick. Several days later, bleeding - which after that was confirmed as Ms Flo.

It has been no stain up til now. Whats changes is the frequent pee-ing. Kept on going to the toilet in less than 2 hours even though i didn't drink lots of water. Hope that's one of the good sign.

Appetite, one day good. Another day, felt lazy to eat. OR maybe its bloated?

I've finished up my protein shake drink as well as my steroids medications. Whats left now is insertion of daily Crinone gel until Friday as well as the Progesterone tablets to help support the progesterone? Forgot the nurse's explanation.

Am still eating my daily egg whites - 4/day. Hope when i met Dr Thong this Thursday, she'll say i can stop with those eggs since i didnt get OHSS this time. Was truly delighted! Thank god i managed to succumb and get over the OHSS phobia and did the 3rd IVF. The whole IVF journey for this third time is smooth sailing. Mostly because, i believe the gynae made effort in making sure i do not go through the same ordeal as past two times as well as she's taking double precaution  in my every milestone of ivf.

Am so thankful.

But am also afraid to meet her this Thursday. Maybe i shall wait outside while the husband goes inside and if its a good news then he can call me in. But i dont think he'll let me do that. Tsk

I havent peed on the stick yet. Nervous!

When? Tomorrow morning or Wednesday?!

Otherwise, if im really panicky - will jst wait for the result from the nurses report. around noon on 14th June. This is nerve-wrecking! Hope it'll be a good news then Dearest husband will have an unforgettable start of Father's Day gift!


How awesome that will be!

For now, im in great urgency to pee - AGAIN!

Being paranoid?

So far, its good. No spotting.

But im beginning to feel paranoid. Sometimes i do experience giddyness. Is this called faint spells?

Sometimes, i do feel nausea. Issit coz of d steroid medicines?

Being paranoid as what if i think im experiencing that but at d end of it all, its nothing.

Having to go through the whole dejected roller coaster again. If it only involves me, and Mat, its ok.

But paiseh, as my family n colleagues are also involved since im being bedrest for 3weeks.

:'(

Day 12

Weighted. Eeks. 60.5kg!

Must be coz i ate a lot yesterday. Ate 3 rice meals n during movie time, im able to finish popcorn even before Madasgascar was half-time :0

Normally, i cannot finish that regular sized popcorn. At most half.

Maybe Cathay's popcorn tasted better yesterday??

Today. Am feeling a bit of dizziness again. Mat asked if want to eat KFC but that thought of KFC just flashed "yucks". But i love chicken.

Sneak a movie

Mat is so sweet. Bought me out for a movie date to watch Madagascar 3!

Yeay! Happy mood back in w popcorns!!!

Day 11: Questioned the Questions

Today, am feeling a bit low.
Been having thoughts about many Qs.

"Is it all good when until now there is no spotting sighted ever since the ET (Embryo Transfer)?"

" Are you two embryo(s) doing okay?"

"Is this normal feeling im feeling normal"

"after day 11, what should i be experiencing? cramps? breast tender? whutt???"

"been feeling dehydrated since yesterday, am i depriving the embryo(s) of liquid?"

The thoughts are never ending.

Felt a bit dizzy going on with the head. The throat is like forever thirsty. The throat also feels like a bit nausea.
Thing is, im very bad with feeling. I'm a heck-care attitude when it comes to body feeling. Believe me, until now - i don't really know much of my incoming menses's symptoms. My husband would normally detect and will say "i think your menses soon as you normally will feel cold, feverish or puked." and he's correct.

Chia-lat. Don't even know my own body symptoms. I do know la, its only that i can only predict it on the menses's eve. Before that, I'll be still thinking its not menses yet.

Yesterday, the TCM physician took a longer reading at my pulse. Saying that she detected a weak signal and is trying to read it. Erk?

She asked if i felt breast tenderness? Er, no.

Dont even feel like typing any post initially. Sat at the laptop and stared blankly which url to go. Just wanna lie on bed and stare at any dvds.

Gosh. Still got one more week :(

Just buy it, la

Finally decided to buy the kit. One box got two tests.

Let's see. From the knowledge i've collected, if embryo transfer is Day 2 or 3 - Day 11 can test. Which is tomorrow.

But im scared. Shall do on Sunday or perhaps Monday?

The TCM physician said she sensed a weak signal from the pulse. Above that the pulse still okay and normal.

Thats the thing. I feel normal too. Haiz. Is it a cause for concern? Even if i call Raffles, they will say dont worry - as long no bleeding, all's good.

So confused.

Still got a week more to go. Homebound :(

Day 10: so far so good

Waiting turn to be acupuntured. So far, im feeling and behaving normal.

Haha.

Should buy that stick or not???

Day 9: To test or not?

Brekkie everyday must is the above Protein Shake + 4 egg whites.

These is to help me overcome OHSS. Alhamdullilah, till now i've got no symptom of OHSS. Looking forward for acupunture tomorrow. Hope, the pulse is good. Will only visit Dr Thong on 14 June. Nerve-wrecking. Been staying seated mostly still. Dont want to risk any precentage.

Im playing with the thought of buying several pregrancy kits tests to test at home. Of course, i would like to experience the happiness, of seeing the two lines on the pee sticks!

Should i?!!??!!!

Mat mentioned to just wait for the blood test. In case, i'll be dealt with a sad blow. How?!

I've been feeling normal. Except that im still walking slowly as i dont want to impose stress to the uterus if i walk as normal. Even going to Raffles is via cab instead of taking bus which i love to sit and plug in my ipod playlists of Kpop.

So far, all's good. Only debris of Crinone gel leftovers. Been taking my pills daily too. Only sometimes, i will feel slight backaches.

Should i test? Hee! But, i goggled that the test should be on Day 11. AH! Stress ah!

Day 7: Waiting for Blood Test results *cross fingers*

I think i don't look sick, despite the 1 week bed rest :)

Went to for Tcm acupuncture with my physician at 11am. She immediately called out to me, as she thought i was about to do transfer. Explained that the embryo transferred was done on her off day, last Wednesday. Now is Day 7.

Filled her up with whats she was missing - how many eggs retrieved, how many fertilized, how many embryos, how many transferred and how many frozen.

She checked my pulse and mentioned that 'its good reading'. Asked if she can know if its implanted or not. Heh. She said cant as its too early. Asked me to come back on Thursday to do acupuncture again.

Then i went downstairs to see my favorite nurse. She told my blood test. Heh, she always made me end up having blood clot on the plaster >.<

Asked if the blood test can know the implantation success. "Too early, dear. We also wish if it can be detected. Need to wait for 14 June for pregnancy test. Tsk.

Had Coffee Bean Red Velvet Cake, boy, its nice!

Proceeded up after 2 hours for results. Results is good and normal. Dr Thong gave me a Progesterone gel tablets to assist me in supporting the lining until pregnancy test. 

One thing i loves about Dr Thong, she's very cautious. She knew I'd OHSS history and she took it into consideration and know she dont want to waste any chance with my progesterone lining issue.

Uh oh.

After taking the progesterone gel tablet, am feeling the head spinning. This is weird. Gotta rest and cat nap then.

Tomorrow im gonna select a unit for our house. Hopefully we are able to change location to either clementi or Queesnstown. Clementi is my dream neighborhood. Easy to find food and budget necessities compared to Queenstown, caterred to more Chinese.

Day 7: Blood test

On my way to Raffles hospital.

Dr Thong made me come today so that she can analyses my blood test results. She wants to see if i need more support for my lining. After that om going for acupuncture with my usual physician.

I really hope the results will be positive. Not sure why they cant let me know if the implantation was a success from the blood test. For, i need to wait till 14 June to go for pregnancy test.

Argh. Two more weeks of home bound :(

Sweet Noodle

Mr  is so sweet.

He cooked fried noodles today and i just had my second helping. So Nice.

Sometimes, i can't thank him well enough for caring and loving me too much. I hope dearest embies will grow well and attaches themselves onto the lining so that they can also enjoy great caring from their daddy!

Day 5: implantation, pls implant embies!

Yesterday while sleeping, i feel cramp on d right side of belly.

Read up that some will experience cramps during the implantation as it burrows deep into the lining, which explains some have implantation bleeding.

Woke up, checked. No blood, only wiped away bits of Crinone gel.