Ms Flo came again in July

Ms Flo came just nice, i should be able to welcome Ramadhan this Saturday. I think the body system is such a BFF with Ms Flo, it just doesn't want to skip any monthly meet ups. Haiz.

Well, what matters is im healthy and gaining weight. Yucks!

I must strive harder, skip more with more lunges and squats to get rid of few kilos before proceeding with the frozen transfer :)

Follow up

hello :)

Been one month plus since the last countdown. Well, if you can guess - it was a BFN result.

I remembered being so scared making way down to Raffles Hospital for the test. Couldn't sleep. The stain still persist. Told the nurse, she said not to worry. They are some patients who have spotting and got good results.

Okay, i got some hopes - i thought.

After that the blood test, we went for brekkie. Then, received call from nurse asking to come out and meet Dr Thong. *oh no* Waited. and waited. "Ariani"

Dr Thong smiled and asked how am i feeling. I cant answer. And she said "i know it must be nerve-wrecking these weeks having to wait for the result. im sorry but its a negative". Tears at the brink of falling. I somehow knew that it wont be positive since there is spotting.

Dr Thong was good and showed empathy which i didnt get from NUH. She went through how the whole IVF went through, the good thing - i wasnt sick and didnt experience OHSS at all.. The not so good was it could be the egg quality - man and female factor.

And then i just started tearing. The assistance quickly grabbed the tissue box. Dr Thong said "its ok dear, just let it go and cry. Go home and cry and you'll feel better"

Mr and i went somewhere, i cant remember where. We ate and went movie i think. We paused and talk about IVF but we didnt go somewhere to cry - like we did for the last IVF.

We somehow felt calm for this cycle. Sadness is there but we knew it wasnt meant to be. Yet. Surprisingly, the last day of my hospitalization leave before going off to work, i didnt cry a lot in bed. In fact, that night i didnt cry too. Maybe i was too tired since didnt sleep the night before. Since i made agenda to sleepover at my mum's house on that Friday - it helps.

As i told her about the result, i teared. Well, of course i want to tell her good news but i cant :'( When Abah came home from work, i didnt even say anything. He understood somehow.

And today, im still waiting for my period. We told each other to give it a rest and just do without having a stress on it. Think we are both tired. But we wont give up :)

Through this, we becomes even closer and stronger.

Countdown to final result

Pee-d on the stick this morning. Just had a thought to just do it since i bought the stick already. The stick and its generations seems not to like me. Everytime its always show a single line.

Haiz.

Whats new?

I dont actually feel sad. As i dont really have any feeling when i peed on it. I was in urgency to urinate so was a relief to end it all.

Told Mat the result, he said not to care about the result as this Thursday result would be more comprehensive and better result. Which i think is true also la.

I REALLY hope they can detect a high HCG level to determine that this 3rd ivf is a success. Otherwise, i'll feel dejected having to answer to those surrounding me on the failure again. Taking a 3rd week of hospitalization leave and having my work being covered by someone and at the end of it, i got no happy news to share on the outcome - just dont feel good.

At least if its a BFP result, those 3weeks of me missing from office will justify sweetly.

One more day to countdown. Tomorrow, lucky Mat will be having his IPPT and will be hope halfday so can spent the day with me. before we go down on Thursday morning for the final countdown.

Uber nervous ^.^

Day 15? Counting down to 14th June

Is it Day 15 or 14? Since my last post of Day 12 is on 8th June. Embryo transferred was on 30th May (Day 2).

This week is my final week to bed rest. The end of 3 weeks hospitalization leave, hopefully. Am dreading the outcome of my Outlook email quantity once im back at work.

For now, im still refusing to take a peek at those work related emails. I need to calm and do happy non-stress related things. So, thats a No-No.

I will be going down to Raffles Hospital for the final test, pregnancy or HCG test? Read up and its a BFP if the HCG level are high and possibilities of multiple pregnancy if its way up over 2000k readings.

Am scared and nervous.

So far, it has been good. No spotting. No trace of brown stains found when Crinone gel was inserted inside. Last two IVF rounds, before the 2ww are up - i found traces of dark brown stains on the crinone gel stick. Several days later, bleeding - which after that was confirmed as Ms Flo.

It has been no stain up til now. Whats changes is the frequent pee-ing. Kept on going to the toilet in less than 2 hours even though i didn't drink lots of water. Hope that's one of the good sign.

Appetite, one day good. Another day, felt lazy to eat. OR maybe its bloated?

I've finished up my protein shake drink as well as my steroids medications. Whats left now is insertion of daily Crinone gel until Friday as well as the Progesterone tablets to help support the progesterone? Forgot the nurse's explanation.

Am still eating my daily egg whites - 4/day. Hope when i met Dr Thong this Thursday, she'll say i can stop with those eggs since i didnt get OHSS this time. Was truly delighted! Thank god i managed to succumb and get over the OHSS phobia and did the 3rd IVF. The whole IVF journey for this third time is smooth sailing. Mostly because, i believe the gynae made effort in making sure i do not go through the same ordeal as past two times as well as she's taking double precaution  in my every milestone of ivf.

Am so thankful.

But am also afraid to meet her this Thursday. Maybe i shall wait outside while the husband goes inside and if its a good news then he can call me in. But i dont think he'll let me do that. Tsk

I havent peed on the stick yet. Nervous!

When? Tomorrow morning or Wednesday?!

Otherwise, if im really panicky - will jst wait for the result from the nurses report. around noon on 14th June. This is nerve-wrecking! Hope it'll be a good news then Dearest husband will have an unforgettable start of Father's Day gift!


How awesome that will be!

For now, im in great urgency to pee - AGAIN!

Day 11: Questioned the Questions

Today, am feeling a bit low.
Been having thoughts about many Qs.

"Is it all good when until now there is no spotting sighted ever since the ET (Embryo Transfer)?"

" Are you two embryo(s) doing okay?"

"Is this normal feeling im feeling normal"

"after day 11, what should i be experiencing? cramps? breast tender? whutt???"

"been feeling dehydrated since yesterday, am i depriving the embryo(s) of liquid?"

The thoughts are never ending.

Felt a bit dizzy going on with the head. The throat is like forever thirsty. The throat also feels like a bit nausea.
Thing is, im very bad with feeling. I'm a heck-care attitude when it comes to body feeling. Believe me, until now - i don't really know much of my incoming menses's symptoms. My husband would normally detect and will say "i think your menses soon as you normally will feel cold, feverish or puked." and he's correct.

Chia-lat. Don't even know my own body symptoms. I do know la, its only that i can only predict it on the menses's eve. Before that, I'll be still thinking its not menses yet.

Yesterday, the TCM physician took a longer reading at my pulse. Saying that she detected a weak signal and is trying to read it. Erk?

She asked if i felt breast tenderness? Er, no.

Dont even feel like typing any post initially. Sat at the laptop and stared blankly which url to go. Just wanna lie on bed and stare at any dvds.

Gosh. Still got one more week :(

Day 9: To test or not?

Brekkie everyday must is the above Protein Shake + 4 egg whites.

These is to help me overcome OHSS. Alhamdullilah, till now i've got no symptom of OHSS. Looking forward for acupunture tomorrow. Hope, the pulse is good. Will only visit Dr Thong on 14 June. Nerve-wrecking. Been staying seated mostly still. Dont want to risk any precentage.

Im playing with the thought of buying several pregrancy kits tests to test at home. Of course, i would like to experience the happiness, of seeing the two lines on the pee sticks!

Should i?!!??!!!

Mat mentioned to just wait for the blood test. In case, i'll be dealt with a sad blow. How?!

I've been feeling normal. Except that im still walking slowly as i dont want to impose stress to the uterus if i walk as normal. Even going to Raffles is via cab instead of taking bus which i love to sit and plug in my ipod playlists of Kpop.

So far, all's good. Only debris of Crinone gel leftovers. Been taking my pills daily too. Only sometimes, i will feel slight backaches.

Should i test? Hee! But, i goggled that the test should be on Day 11. AH! Stress ah!

Day 7: Waiting for Blood Test results *cross fingers*

I think i don't look sick, despite the 1 week bed rest :)

Went to for Tcm acupuncture with my physician at 11am. She immediately called out to me, as she thought i was about to do transfer. Explained that the embryo transferred was done on her off day, last Wednesday. Now is Day 7.

Filled her up with whats she was missing - how many eggs retrieved, how many fertilized, how many embryos, how many transferred and how many frozen.

She checked my pulse and mentioned that 'its good reading'. Asked if she can know if its implanted or not. Heh. She said cant as its too early. Asked me to come back on Thursday to do acupuncture again.

Then i went downstairs to see my favorite nurse. She told my blood test. Heh, she always made me end up having blood clot on the plaster >.<

Asked if the blood test can know the implantation success. "Too early, dear. We also wish if it can be detected. Need to wait for 14 June for pregnancy test. Tsk.

Had Coffee Bean Red Velvet Cake, boy, its nice!

Proceeded up after 2 hours for results. Results is good and normal. Dr Thong gave me a Progesterone gel tablets to assist me in supporting the lining until pregnancy test. 

One thing i loves about Dr Thong, she's very cautious. She knew I'd OHSS history and she took it into consideration and know she dont want to waste any chance with my progesterone lining issue.

Uh oh.

After taking the progesterone gel tablet, am feeling the head spinning. This is weird. Gotta rest and cat nap then.

Tomorrow im gonna select a unit for our house. Hopefully we are able to change location to either clementi or Queesnstown. Clementi is my dream neighborhood. Easy to find food and budget necessities compared to Queenstown, caterred to more Chinese.

Day 7: Blood test

On my way to Raffles hospital.

Dr Thong made me come today so that she can analyses my blood test results. She wants to see if i need more support for my lining. After that om going for acupuncture with my usual physician.

I really hope the results will be positive. Not sure why they cant let me know if the implantation was a success from the blood test. For, i need to wait till 14 June to go for pregnancy test.

Argh. Two more weeks of home bound :(

Day 2: Post Embryo Transfer

After the transfer, the nurse inserted the crinone gel inside the vajayjay. This crinone gel is important.
As extracted from this website,

The Comfort of Powerful Progesterone Support

Progesterone deficiency can make it more difficult for women to become pregnant or to maintain pregnancy.

Crinone 8% provides safe and effective progesterone support for women who have a progesterone deficiency and who are undergoing infertility treatment.

Crinone 8% comes in the form of a vaginal gel that is easy to apply once a day. In several clinical studies, women undergoing infertility treatment consistently preferred Crinone 8% over progesterone intramuscular injections, progesterone vaginal suppositories, and progesterone capsules administered vaginally.

Also, while im at the website i clicked for more information. Read up, it's interesting.

Progesterone’s Role in Pregnancy

The hormone progesterone is often called “the pregnancy hormone” because it plays 2 important roles in pregnancy:

1. Progesterone thickens and prepares the lining of the uterus, called the endometrium, for implantation of a fertilized egg
2. After implantation, progesterone is important during the first trimester to maintain pregnancy. This role continues through birth

Progesterone thickens the endometrium

Throughout an average 28-day menstrual cycle, the thickness of the endometrium varies. (The menstrual cycle begins on the first day of a woman’s period. For more information on a normal menstrual cycle, click here.)

During the first 14 days of the menstrual cycle, the endometrium is relatively thin and begins to thicken before ovulation. After ovulation, the endometrium continues to thicken. If no pregnancy occurs in this cycle, the endometrium will shed during a woman’s period and become thinner. If pregnancy occurs, the endometrium will remain thick to support the pregnancy.

Click on the chart below for a larger view.

The difference in the thickness of the endometrium varies depending upon the amount of progesterone in the body. The endometrium is thinnest during the first half of the menstrual cycle, when progesterone levels are low. The endometrium becomes thickest after ovulation when progesterone levels rise.

The increasing levels of progesterone after ovulation are important to prepare the uterus for implantation of a fertilized egg.

Progesterone supports pregnancy

After a fertilized egg implants in the endometrium, the ovaries continue to produce progesterone to provide a nourishing environment for the growing embryo.

During a normal pregnancy, around 8 weeks after implantation, the placenta takes over the production of progesterone from the ovaries. The placenta produces a significant level of progesterone to maintain a healthy pregnancy.

No wonder the nurse injected me with Progesterone at the buttock before the transfer. This wasnt done at NUH. At Raffles, they asked me to insert the crinone gel twice daily (morning and night). While at NUH, its only morning.

Continue.

So after the transfer, i went up for acupunture - to boost the blood stream and strengthening the uterus ir something like that..

After which, i need to heed back for a consultation with Dr Thong.

This time, my poor husband who has been waiting at the operating theatre and did not sleep at all - as he's afraid if he sleep, they would push me out without him realising :(

I was actually walking. Hee!

Dr Thong explained and showed my husband the embryo's photo. The balance three are being frozen, etc..

We asked why the is one embryo that is already split into 3 was not chosen and instead embryo that was split into two was chosen?

She explained, it doesn't matter how many split as what matter is the grade quality. The two cells are of better quality instead of the three cells which is average.The cells are going to end up splitting anyway. First, its a one-cell. As it started to develop and grows, it will split into 2, 3 and 4 like now. Once inside you, they will still split and by Day 5, it will implant itself onto your lining.

Thats the crucial moment.

No major movement, try not to move much from Day 5 to Day 11. Just stay on the bed. As if there's much walking, the cervix will compress and instablize the implanting.

Dr Thong also mentioned that she observed that i had water lining while scanning me and mentioned that i could have a mild OHSS and asked me to take good care and if anything, call them.

What she explained was so detailed. There was no post transfer consultation over at NUH for both times.This time round, i am more hardworking. Googling and reading up on internet on anything embryo, ivf, progesterone, etc..

Google-d and the explanation of Dr Thong is same as the facts from these website below.

The Significance of Blastocyst Transfer
http://www.ivf.com/blastocyst.html

In a typical non-blastocyst in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle, a woman's eggs are retrieved and fertilized. If all goes well, the embryos are transferred into the uterus three days later. Due to the fact that it is difficult to predict on day three which embryos are more likely to produce a pregnancy, four or more embryos are frequently transferred in hopes that at least one will result in a live birth. Until now, this has been a reasonable approach in order to achieve acceptable pregnancy rates.

However, with blastocyst transfer, only two or three embryos are transferred, practically eliminating the possibility of triplets or greater. And the same pregnancy rates are achieved as would be expected when four or more embryos are transferred on day three. Some centers report achieving even better pregnancy rates with blastocysts. Implantation rates of 48-50% and pregnancy rates of up to 66.3% have been reported in patients who responded well to gonadotropins.
What is 1 Blastocyst?
A blastocyst is a highly developed embryo that has divided many times to a point where it is nearly ready to implant on the walls of the uterus. A blastocyst has come a long way from its beginning as a single cell.
During maturation, an embryo rests inside a protective shell called a zona pellucida. You can think of this protective shell as being much like a chicken egg. But, unlike chicken eggs, human embryos do not remain inside a shell. Instead, the embryo hatches (breaks out of the shell) on the fifth or sixth day so it can attach to the uterine wall (implantation). Just prior to hatching, an embryo becomes a blastocyst.
Embryos developing to the critical blastocyst stage have a much greater chance of implanting successfully and resulting in an ongoing pregnancy. That is because these embryos have passed an important test. During the first few days, the embryo relies on the mother's egg for all its nutrients. However, in order to 15 survive past day three or four, the embryo must activate its own genes. Not all embryos are successful. In fact, only about one-third of the embryos become blastocysts. Yet these embryos are more highly-developed, healthier, and stronger, and have a higher rate of implantation when compared to day three embryos. Due to the higher probability of survival, we transfer fewer back into the uterus.

Getting to Day Five For many years, infertility practitioners have known that day three transfers were too early when compared to what is physiologically normal. In naturally conceived pregnancies, a day three embryo resides in the fallopian tube, not in the uterus. The embryo does not even reach the uterus until the fifth or sixth day. Yet traditional IVF has always transferred on day three because, up until now, we have not been able to delay the transfer to day five. Previous laboratory culture media could only sustain an embryo's growth for three days. Now we have the ability to develop an embryo to the blastocyst (day five) stage.

Frozen Blastocyst Cycles
Blastocysts tend to have a very good survival rate after cryopreservation (freezing). Menezo and his colleagues have reported that "the recovery after thawing is equivalent, if not superior to, that of thawing of earlier embryonic stages."
Because blastocysts are superior to earlier stage embryos in terms of development, they are easier to freeze, store, and thaw. Additionally, because blastocysts have higher implantation rates, it is possible for a couple to go through IVF once and have enough blastocysts for the current cycle as well as any future cycles.

After IVF Embryo Transfer, what you need to know

http://www.ivfconnections.com/forums/content.php/569-After-IVF-Embryo-Transfer-What-You-Need-to-Know

A lot of anxiety builds up after an embryo transfer. Questions and worries swirl around until the two week wait (2ww) is over. Should I be on bed rest for the first two days? Are the embryos going to fall out? What foods should I eat? What foods should I avoid? How active can I be during the two week wait? How much spotting is normal?

Let's take it one step at a time so you can see what the post-transfer period is like.

An image depicting the process of an ultrasound-guided embryo transfer. Note the ultrasound wand and the path the catheter has to take to transfer the embryos in the optimal spot.

Won't My Embryos Fall Out if I Walk Around?
Thankfully, they won't. You will probably feel like tiptoeing around on a layer of foam for at least the first few days, and if that makes you feel better then go ahead and do it. But there's no need. Remember that in a spontaneous pregnancy, the egg is released from the fallopian tubes, the sperm travels all of the way up the vaginal tract, through the cervix, all the way through the uterus and into the fallopian tube. Fertilization typically takes place inside the fallopian tube, which is where the egg and sperm usually meet. The tiny embryo moves through the tube and into the uterus, where it can, given the right circumstances, implant in the uterine wall.

If oocytes or embryos could "fall out" of the uterus, not many people would get pregnant at all. The uterus is defined as a potential space; that is, it is completely closed with the inside walls all touching, and can expand as needed to create space for a growing baby. Think of your uterine walls like a deflated balloon made out of sponge. In its normal, resting state the balloon will be small, the spongy walls will all be touching, and there will be no air inside. If you start to inflate the balloon, it expands to accommodate the volume of air that is put inside it. But while it is deflated and the walls are touching, you could put a marble inside and it would stay where it is until you start to inflate it.

Does Spotting Mean Its Over?
No. Please breathe now - you're turning a remarkable shade of blue. Your body has been going through a lot during your IVF cycle. Hormones, injections, stress, egg retrieval (if it is a fresh cycle) - none of these should be discounted. And during the transfer your doctor probably used a speculum so he/she could visualize your cervix, then the catheter had to pass through the cervix, and then the catheter may have irritated a tiny bit of the lining. In addition, you are likely on some hormone supplements including progesterone, which can cause spotting. Any of these things could cause a little spotting, and not necessarily immediately.

There is another thing that can cause spotting, and this is a happy possibility: it's called implantation spotting. Implantation spotting happens when the embryo burrows into the uterine lining and implants, so that it can begin growing. Implantation spotting often looks different from other types of spotting; the color is a light pink or light brown and it may be "streaky" in appearance.

Hope this two website helps. Its so interesting to read up on God's magical gift!

Day 2: Embryo transfer Journey & Hello embryo(s)

My priceless embryo(s).

Out of seven, five are developing and these two are the chosen ones to be placed inside me for Day 2 of the Embryo Transfer. They belonged to the better grade compared to the other 3 embryo(s). The other 3 are now frozen for future use.

I do not need to go through the whole injection of stimulating the follicle and ooctye surgery again. Thats good news!

The procedure at Raffles is very transparent compared to NUH. They will tell you step by step and sorta bring you along throughout every ivf/icsi journey up to the embryo transfer. Also, by the end of the day you'll make payment and you'll know what you're paying for instead of paying one whole sum once the whole IVF procedure is over over at NUH.

Of course, the credit cards needs to be on standby. Not one but a few :x

Was surprised that on the day of the embryo transfer, the embryologists came out of his lab to chat with me and showed me photos of my embryo(s). It was overwhelming. With NUH, you cannot even see the embryologist. They will only call you to update on the embryo development the day before.

It was not as smooth sailing.

One needs to have a full bladder for the embryo transfer and i drank 4 cups before going into the operating theatre. The fav nurse scanned me and said "alamak dear, empty la. how?"

 I was devastated.

Told her, to get me more cups since the gynae not here yet. She brought me 4 more cups (2 by 2) and i gulped down fast. Was amazed. i'll usually drink water very slowly. Maybe coz of embryo, anything matters.

Then the gynae came. Checked. "Oh no, i cant proceed with this. Ariani, dont worry ok. Im going to insert water into you from below"

Hee. She was patient and comforting. Not like blaming you that she needs to do more job and delay the transfer.

With NUH, i had the same issue but that time i was having OHSS and was severely dehyradrated. Since i need more water, they actually asked me to drink a bottle while putting me on drip. Ouch. Had that feeling like ' i should be ready and have a full bladder since you know you're doing a transfer :('

See. Raffles is so much comforting.

I was feeling good throughout the transfer not like at NUH, whether or not i was having OHSS.

Wah. The gynae really placed one full packet of water via a tube in the Vajayjay. I was feeling uber urgent!!! Was scared that i might just pee-d on her. Heh.

Once its ready, she placed something inside the vajayjay to open up the clitoris(?). The embryologist on the other side, standby. The nurses asked me to look at my left-side monitor to show me both embryo(s) at live view and how they're picked up and passed to the gynae. Saw how Dr Thong placed the tube inside me and flicked a white spot in the middle of nowhere.

Heh.

Dr Thong: "Can you see the white spot, ariani? Dont worry ok. They're safe and nicely placed in the middle. They'll be floating until ready for implating by Day 5"

:D

At first was feeling ashamed as the young embroyologist was also standing directly in front of me when Dr Thong was placing the embryo - meaning, he can see my vajayjay *shy*

But in moment like this, who cares. See la. Am sure he cant differentiate whose is whose after seeing at least 2 or 3 each day. Hurhurhur..

That whole part of bringing me along into what happens when they transfer the embryo is totally comforting and relaxing compared to NUH side whereby NUH do explain that they are going to put how many embryo, then thats its.

No live view of embryo picked up.
No asking me to look at the screen when they flick the embryo inside.
No telling what happened to embryo. Just "Ok, all in. Good luck".

All the way, i just stared at the ceiling or looking at their face signalling someone to at least tell me whats going on.

I love my Gynae a lot!

While Dr Thong was placing the water into my vajayjay, she striked up a convo. She was telling everyone how good lady gaga's concert was the day before. As my legs are opened and widen before her, she excitedly smacked my thighs and said "I tell you, if she comes again you must go ok, Ariani"

*lol*

Weird la she. Likes her a lot, very comforting.

Day 2: Pre-Embryo transfer

Today is Day 3.

Had my embryos transfer yesterday, Day 2. I want to upload photo of my embryos up am fiddling blogging via the HTC Flyer.

Came at 8:30am yesterday. My favourite pinoy nurse, Bitun called me in to give progesteron(unsure of spelling) injection. Didnt expected it to be on the butt.

After that i went up for TCM acupunture. Pity, it was my pyhsyician off day. Mat suggestted not to go as he's concerned that the other pyhsician will make the same mistake of forgetting to remove one acupunture needle from the belly again.

Told him "nolah, just double check la". I insisted on TCM sesseion as the gynae also recommend and shared that doing it just before and after the embryos transfer are the crucial moments.

Managed to relax and sleep 30Mins while acupunture session. This treatment helps in stregthening the blood flowing system and enhance the uterus to be ready for the transfer. After the tranfer, the nurse asked me to go up for acupunture again - another 30mins of sleep. Heh.

Hope. Hope. Hope

The nurses from Raffles Hospital Women's Centre called.

After a discussion from the Gynae Dr Thong Pao-Wen and the embryologist, they decided to implant it tomorrow. Hmm, thats fast! Okayla, they did mention they are goin to do the transfer on Day2.

I really REALLY hope all 7 of the embryos will be of good quality. Of course, i cannot put all seven. I also dont wish to. The maximum we can put inside me is two, caused of the new ruling from government.

Nervous.

Once the transfer is done, they is nothing else they can assist to make me pregnant :(

Its all up to Him. I want a child badly. A child to call my own.