Ms Flo came just nice, i should be able to welcome Ramadhan this Saturday. I think the body system is such a BFF with Ms Flo, it just doesn't want to skip any monthly meet ups. Haiz.
Well, what matters is im healthy and gaining weight. Yucks!
I must strive harder, skip more with more lunges and squats to get rid of few kilos before proceeding with the frozen transfer :)
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
July 19, 2012
July 16, 2012
Follow up
hello :)
Been one month plus since the last countdown. Well, if you can guess - it was a BFN result.
I remembered being so scared making way down to Raffles Hospital for the test. Couldn't sleep. The stain still persist. Told the nurse, she said not to worry. They are some patients who have spotting and got good results.
Okay, i got some hopes - i thought.
After that the blood test, we went for brekkie. Then, received call from nurse asking to come out and meet Dr Thong. *oh no* Waited. and waited. "Ariani"
Dr Thong smiled and asked how am i feeling. I cant answer. And she said "i know it must be nerve-wrecking these weeks having to wait for the result. im sorry but its a negative". Tears at the brink of falling. I somehow knew that it wont be positive since there is spotting.
Dr Thong was good and showed empathy which i didnt get from NUH. She went through how the whole IVF went through, the good thing - i wasnt sick and didnt experience OHSS at all.. The not so good was it could be the egg quality - man and female factor.
And then i just started tearing. The assistance quickly grabbed the tissue box. Dr Thong said "its ok dear, just let it go and cry. Go home and cry and you'll feel better"
Mr and i went somewhere, i cant remember where. We ate and went movie i think. We paused and talk about IVF but we didnt go somewhere to cry - like we did for the last IVF.
We somehow felt calm for this cycle. Sadness is there but we knew it wasnt meant to be. Yet. Surprisingly, the last day of my hospitalization leave before going off to work, i didnt cry a lot in bed. In fact, that night i didnt cry too. Maybe i was too tired since didnt sleep the night before. Since i made agenda to sleepover at my mum's house on that Friday - it helps.
As i told her about the result, i teared. Well, of course i want to tell her good news but i cant :'( When Abah came home from work, i didnt even say anything. He understood somehow.
And today, im still waiting for my period. We told each other to give it a rest and just do without having a stress on it. Think we are both tired. But we wont give up :)
Through this, we becomes even closer and stronger.
Been one month plus since the last countdown. Well, if you can guess - it was a BFN result.
I remembered being so scared making way down to Raffles Hospital for the test. Couldn't sleep. The stain still persist. Told the nurse, she said not to worry. They are some patients who have spotting and got good results.
Okay, i got some hopes - i thought.
After that the blood test, we went for brekkie. Then, received call from nurse asking to come out and meet Dr Thong. *oh no* Waited. and waited. "Ariani"
Dr Thong smiled and asked how am i feeling. I cant answer. And she said "i know it must be nerve-wrecking these weeks having to wait for the result. im sorry but its a negative". Tears at the brink of falling. I somehow knew that it wont be positive since there is spotting.
Dr Thong was good and showed empathy which i didnt get from NUH. She went through how the whole IVF went through, the good thing - i wasnt sick and didnt experience OHSS at all.. The not so good was it could be the egg quality - man and female factor.
And then i just started tearing. The assistance quickly grabbed the tissue box. Dr Thong said "its ok dear, just let it go and cry. Go home and cry and you'll feel better"
Mr and i went somewhere, i cant remember where. We ate and went movie i think. We paused and talk about IVF but we didnt go somewhere to cry - like we did for the last IVF.
We somehow felt calm for this cycle. Sadness is there but we knew it wasnt meant to be. Yet. Surprisingly, the last day of my hospitalization leave before going off to work, i didnt cry a lot in bed. In fact, that night i didnt cry too. Maybe i was too tired since didnt sleep the night before. Since i made agenda to sleepover at my mum's house on that Friday - it helps.
As i told her about the result, i teared. Well, of course i want to tell her good news but i cant :'( When Abah came home from work, i didnt even say anything. He understood somehow.
And today, im still waiting for my period. We told each other to give it a rest and just do without having a stress on it. Think we are both tired. But we wont give up :)
Through this, we becomes even closer and stronger.
June 11, 2012
Countdown to final result
Pee-d on the stick this morning. Just had a thought to just do it since i bought the stick already. The stick and its generations seems not to like me. Everytime its always show a single line.
Haiz.
Whats new?
I dont actually feel sad. As i dont really have any feeling when i peed on it. I was in urgency to urinate so was a relief to end it all.
Told Mat the result, he said not to care about the result as this Thursday result would be more comprehensive and better result. Which i think is true also la.
I REALLY hope they can detect a high HCG level to determine that this 3rd ivf is a success. Otherwise, i'll feel dejected having to answer to those surrounding me on the failure again. Taking a 3rd week of hospitalization leave and having my work being covered by someone and at the end of it, i got no happy news to share on the outcome - just dont feel good.
At least if its a BFP result, those 3weeks of me missing from office will justify sweetly.
One more day to countdown. Tomorrow, lucky Mat will be having his IPPT and will be hope halfday so can spent the day with me. before we go down on Thursday morning for the final countdown.
Uber nervous ^.^
Haiz.
Whats new?
I dont actually feel sad. As i dont really have any feeling when i peed on it. I was in urgency to urinate so was a relief to end it all.
Told Mat the result, he said not to care about the result as this Thursday result would be more comprehensive and better result. Which i think is true also la.
I REALLY hope they can detect a high HCG level to determine that this 3rd ivf is a success. Otherwise, i'll feel dejected having to answer to those surrounding me on the failure again. Taking a 3rd week of hospitalization leave and having my work being covered by someone and at the end of it, i got no happy news to share on the outcome - just dont feel good.
At least if its a BFP result, those 3weeks of me missing from office will justify sweetly.
One more day to countdown. Tomorrow, lucky Mat will be having his IPPT and will be hope halfday so can spent the day with me. before we go down on Thursday morning for the final countdown.
Uber nervous ^.^
June 10, 2012
Day 15? Counting down to 14th June
Is it Day 15 or 14? Since my last post of Day 12 is on 8th June. Embryo transferred was on 30th May (Day 2).
This week is my final week to bed rest. The end of 3 weeks hospitalization leave, hopefully. Am dreading the outcome of my Outlook email quantity once im back at work.
For now, im still refusing to take a peek at those work related emails. I need to calm and do happy non-stress related things. So, thats a No-No.
I will be going down to Raffles Hospital for the final test, pregnancy or HCG test? Read up and its a BFP if the HCG level are high and possibilities of multiple pregnancy if its way up over 2000k readings.
Am scared and nervous.
So far, it has been good. No spotting. No trace of brown stains found when Crinone gel was inserted inside. Last two IVF rounds, before the 2ww are up - i found traces of dark brown stains on the crinone gel stick. Several days later, bleeding - which after that was confirmed as Ms Flo.
It has been no stain up til now. Whats changes is the frequent pee-ing. Kept on going to the toilet in less than 2 hours even though i didn't drink lots of water. Hope that's one of the good sign.
Appetite, one day good. Another day, felt lazy to eat. OR maybe its bloated?
I've finished up my protein shake drink as well as my steroids medications. Whats left now is insertion of daily Crinone gel until Friday as well as the Progesterone tablets to help support the progesterone? Forgot the nurse's explanation.
Am still eating my daily egg whites - 4/day. Hope when i met Dr Thong this Thursday, she'll say i can stop with those eggs since i didnt get OHSS this time. Was truly delighted! Thank god i managed to succumb and get over the OHSS phobia and did the 3rd IVF. The whole IVF journey for this third time is smooth sailing. Mostly because, i believe the gynae made effort in making sure i do not go through the same ordeal as past two times as well as she's taking double precaution in my every milestone of ivf.
Am so thankful.
But am also afraid to meet her this Thursday. Maybe i shall wait outside while the husband goes inside and if its a good news then he can call me in. But i dont think he'll let me do that. Tsk
I havent peed on the stick yet. Nervous!
When? Tomorrow morning or Wednesday?!
Otherwise, if im really panicky - will jst wait for the result from the nurses report. around noon on 14th June. This is nerve-wrecking! Hope it'll be a good news then Dearest husband will have an unforgettable start of Father's Day gift!
How awesome that will be!
For now, im in great urgency to pee - AGAIN!
This week is my final week to bed rest. The end of 3 weeks hospitalization leave, hopefully. Am dreading the outcome of my Outlook email quantity once im back at work.
For now, im still refusing to take a peek at those work related emails. I need to calm and do happy non-stress related things. So, thats a No-No.
I will be going down to Raffles Hospital for the final test, pregnancy or HCG test? Read up and its a BFP if the HCG level are high and possibilities of multiple pregnancy if its way up over 2000k readings.
Am scared and nervous.
So far, it has been good. No spotting. No trace of brown stains found when Crinone gel was inserted inside. Last two IVF rounds, before the 2ww are up - i found traces of dark brown stains on the crinone gel stick. Several days later, bleeding - which after that was confirmed as Ms Flo.
It has been no stain up til now. Whats changes is the frequent pee-ing. Kept on going to the toilet in less than 2 hours even though i didn't drink lots of water. Hope that's one of the good sign.
Appetite, one day good. Another day, felt lazy to eat. OR maybe its bloated?
I've finished up my protein shake drink as well as my steroids medications. Whats left now is insertion of daily Crinone gel until Friday as well as the Progesterone tablets to help support the progesterone? Forgot the nurse's explanation.
Am still eating my daily egg whites - 4/day. Hope when i met Dr Thong this Thursday, she'll say i can stop with those eggs since i didnt get OHSS this time. Was truly delighted! Thank god i managed to succumb and get over the OHSS phobia and did the 3rd IVF. The whole IVF journey for this third time is smooth sailing. Mostly because, i believe the gynae made effort in making sure i do not go through the same ordeal as past two times as well as she's taking double precaution in my every milestone of ivf.
Am so thankful.
But am also afraid to meet her this Thursday. Maybe i shall wait outside while the husband goes inside and if its a good news then he can call me in. But i dont think he'll let me do that. Tsk
I havent peed on the stick yet. Nervous!
When? Tomorrow morning or Wednesday?!
Otherwise, if im really panicky - will jst wait for the result from the nurses report. around noon on 14th June. This is nerve-wrecking! Hope it'll be a good news then Dearest husband will have an unforgettable start of Father's Day gift!
How awesome that will be!
For now, im in great urgency to pee - AGAIN!
June 8, 2012
Being paranoid?
So far, its good. No spotting.
But im beginning to feel paranoid. Sometimes i do experience giddyness. Is this called faint spells?
Sometimes, i do feel nausea. Issit coz of d steroid medicines?
Being paranoid as what if i think im experiencing that but at d end of it all, its nothing.
Having to go through the whole dejected roller coaster again. If it only involves me, and Mat, its ok.
But paiseh, as my family n colleagues are also involved since im being bedrest for 3weeks.
:'(
But im beginning to feel paranoid. Sometimes i do experience giddyness. Is this called faint spells?
Sometimes, i do feel nausea. Issit coz of d steroid medicines?
Being paranoid as what if i think im experiencing that but at d end of it all, its nothing.
Having to go through the whole dejected roller coaster again. If it only involves me, and Mat, its ok.
But paiseh, as my family n colleagues are also involved since im being bedrest for 3weeks.
:'(
June 6, 2012
Just buy it, la
Finally decided to buy the kit. One box got two tests.
Let's see. From the knowledge i've collected, if embryo transfer is Day 2 or 3 - Day 11 can test. Which is tomorrow.
But im scared. Shall do on Sunday or perhaps Monday?
The TCM physician said she sensed a weak signal from the pulse. Above that the pulse still okay and normal.
Thats the thing. I feel normal too. Haiz. Is it a cause for concern? Even if i call Raffles, they will say dont worry - as long no bleeding, all's good.
So confused.
Still got a week more to go. Homebound :(
Let's see. From the knowledge i've collected, if embryo transfer is Day 2 or 3 - Day 11 can test. Which is tomorrow.
But im scared. Shall do on Sunday or perhaps Monday?
The TCM physician said she sensed a weak signal from the pulse. Above that the pulse still okay and normal.
Thats the thing. I feel normal too. Haiz. Is it a cause for concern? Even if i call Raffles, they will say dont worry - as long no bleeding, all's good.
So confused.
Still got a week more to go. Homebound :(
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)